Looking Glass

years forward
cobwebs cleared from tarnished mirrors
hand-poured glass over gray-silver
provides partial view of what I know I knew
a distorted reflection
covered in layers of dust undisturbed
wrapped haphazardly in spiderwebs
long since abandoned

safe and patient
wise listeners
weeping friends
soft embraces gently tug away
spider webs
that tied memory to place
to sound
to touch

unbiased, unafraid, unflinching counselor
wipes clean
thick dust like powdered ash
without fear of charred residue marking her hand
she wisks clean the glass on silver
and with chosen words
stern
simple
clear and confident
she directs my eyes to the reflecting glass

how frightening to bring this darkness into day
how can I be made certain
that to focus on this image
won't transport me to that moment
when my mind created dust
ash
cobweb
for the single purpose of survival

the answer is
if nothing else
as weak in reassurance
as it is strong in hope

take a look at the image
in the mirror
and believe

wavy, warped, mis-shapen
as old mirror glass can get
when the gravity of all that seeks to reshape it
overshadows
underemphasizes
convex overblown
and concave understabilized

this distortion typified the image I beheld
small threats were magnified
sources of safety, hidden
nothing rational or logical or sensible
or smart
could be revealed
and addressed
and explained

until reality was wielded
by making straight and sharp
each surface
and of course
by choosing
to look
at the image

my greatest fear
is of my own reaction
to the puzzle
as it is solved